That was the darkest time of my childhood and something that I never attempted to personally address until my mid-30s, instead I tried to ignore that time completely (which I recognise now that I was never going to be able to do). I obviously didn’t… I’m not sure I ever could, but maybe the whole process was some form of release for me - finding out if I ever had that as a means of escape. I did go home one night and I did plan my suicide and I attempted to go through with it. It could’ve been because bullying then was seen as physical abuse, and so my case was unimportant (or there was a lack of training on LGBTQ+ bullying due to Section 28 which is likely). My form tutor she just changed the subject, she didn’t want to acknowledge it. I couldn’t speak to my sister because I was worried it would get back to my family. I couldn’t speak to my parents because I didn’t want them to ask if I was gay. That was the hardest time of my school days. Then people would start adapting rhymes like ‘Georgie Porgie’ and linking it to being gay. It was things like calling me ‘George Michael’ because George Michael had come out around the same time. Not physical bullying, but it was psychological bullying. That school bully had manipulated all of my friends into also bullying me. I wasn’t out at this point, I didn’t come out for a few years after this. It was when I got to year 9 there was someone in my class that had a dream one night that I was gay, and even though I’d gone my entire life trying to cover up being gay (and I wish it wasn’t like that, but it was because I was terrified) the school bully was in the same class and overheard it. I came out when I was 17, so I was in sixth form. What was it like in the 90s being at school as a gay teenager? The internet came about around that time and I’d discovered what Section 28 was via the Pink news and Stonewall which explained why it was never talked about at school. Once I started to learn what the words were then I started to learn more about it. I’ve always known I was gay, I just didn’t know what it was. Were you aware of Section 28 while you were at school? Which is damaging to anyone that doesn’t fit neatly into this box” “LGBT should not be part of the curriculum, all of the sex education within school, and education on relationships had to be typical straight relationships: male and female and that is what we were told was right. It’s not too long since it was abolished in the grand scheme of things. It’s a law that Thatcher brought in during the 80s that was banning the education of LGBTQ+ subjects and issues within schools.
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Even if my parents would mention the topic, or if someone was gay on TV I’d try and get out of the room, I’d just avoid it completely. I just think it was a time where I could’ve phoned up someone and said I’m really struggling with this because I was worried about what my friends and family were going to say. When you’re seeing things in the media, especially in the 80s and 90s, because of Section 28 where education wasn’t allowed to talk about LGBTQ+ issues. Just not knowing where to turn to and who to speak to when you are so stuck in your own bubble. We wanted to give back to people who are struggling with LGBTQ+ issues. LGBTQ+ issues are obviously close to mine and Jamie’s heart. We started to work with them in 2020 as a Papergang charity.
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We really like that sentiment and it was something that I probably could have benefitted from when I was younger, as well. Switchboard is a charity that provides a safe space online, via phone or over messenger for people who are struggling with their identity or sexuality with people on the other end of the line to help them with that.
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Mark, who are LGBT Switchboard and what do they do? Ohh Deer and their customers are teaming up this month to donate to LGBT Switchboard and help keep their volunteers funded. A London based charity that Ohh Deer continue to support this year with a financial donation and raising awareness. We also asked questions about Switchboard LGBT. He co-runs the business with his partner, Jamie. Mark Callaby, Managing Director of Ohh Deer, took some time to take us through his experiences as a gay teenager, struggles with identity and setting up a retail business with diversity and inclusivity at its heart. However, Pride is with us all year around. In America Pride day is celebrated on the 28th June.